Reflections and the Genesis

'The unexamined life is not worth living' -- Socrates

'Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun' -- Ecclesiastes 2:11

I am no fan of diaries, blogs or things of that sort. Believe me. My father had to try, for five years, before I got my first diary, which I then lost in no more than two days. So why this blog, you ask? To be truthful, there are no deep answers. It's only, lately, as I look back on the journey that has been my life, I realize I have undergone very radical changes. Changes of the sort that would have surprised the timid, introverted young boy that I once was. Certainly, the Kwesi of yesteryear would have laughed his head off if you'd told him he'd be anything like he is today - and oh, good luck on telling him he'd end up at one of the most prestigious universities in the world! And then, of course, there are the more subtle changes, that I hope you become privy to as I continue to write, and which all the same count for who I am and the sort of person I want to become.

And so, I have reached one of my primary motivations for this blog. I would like to track these changes and to have the ability to look back on my past and identify it as my own. I want to reflect on and know what decisions I made, why I made them and how that informed the person that I am at every point, if that is in any way possible. Especially, I want to be able to stay true to the conditions that helped me reach where I am today - I speak of my family, friends, teachers, community folk and everyone who influenced me and touched my life positively in any way as well as the relative poverty in which I grew up. I believe I can rightly call these my roots. In this vein, then, I say: Roots, roots, if I forget you or whence I came to be what I am, or the nourishment you gave me so that I have bloomed, may you shrivel up and smother the life out of me! (Adaptation of Ghanaian Proverb)

I do not think I have ever lived life as fast as I am living it right now. College life is filled with deadlines to be met, papers and problem sets to be mulled over and meetings to rush to and from! I have certainly never done as much in a day before as I do (perhaps) in an hour today! And the odd thing is this - we like it! It feels oddly good to be as busy as we are. The seconds between activities are spent twiddling our thumbs in expectation of the next 'big thing'. I find, and I think you must have too, that time seems extremely slowed down outside Princeton, or any other college, and it can be really disconcerting! In this vein, I hope this blog helps me to slow down and reflect on what I give my time to - it is only too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and to go through life here without thinking about the big things such as why we're here in the first place or why we do the things we do. (By the way, you should read David Brook's article 'Organization Kid' on life in Princeton, and college, in general. It's fairly accurate and a great read albeit a bit on the long side: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200104/brooks It's definitely a worthy read though and I highly recommend!) I hope this blog helps me to think about these 'bigger' things.

Did I say 'bigger' things? I think that was the perfect cue for my third motivation. Brooks mentions the lack of a search for virtue as we rush from activity to activity. I believe that the search for virtue coincides with my search for God. Yes, I am religious - specifically (and unabashedly) Christian - and I will not apologise. Psyche. There was a time when I could have said that - when I thought I was sure of what I believed. Then came a time of utter confusion in which I would have described myself as agnostic as best (I do believe there is a God. As to whether he cares about us at all, that's what I'm out searching for) and questioned all the assumptions I'd been raised up to make. Thankfully, I'm gradually getting back the foundation for my life and I'm eternally grateful that the search for truth, in whatever form it exists, is alive and within the grasp of whoever is willing to search for it. I am still struggling in my search (and make no mistakes, I will not be disappointed if I find nothing. I think it is worthy, though, of my time. Yours too!) This blog, then, will serve as a space where I collect my thoughts as I go through my spiritual journey. I am currently reading 'A Case for Christ'. A truly fascinating read. Will keep you posted on that.

Lastly, I should have told you, and I should not forget, that I am an engineer! I'm not exactly sure why I said that and particularly in that way (lol). Anyways, I am involved in a project currently with Prof. Holmes of the Mechanical engineering department. It's basically modelling the swimming motions of lampreys so that we get the thrust and drag on the bodies of lampreys right. It's actually really exciting and although I'm having to wrap my head around math that I'll probably never use in the rest of my undergraduate career, I'm learning a whole lot and reassuring myself that engineering is the best thing you can do with your life (I can't hear you, naysayers!) More on that project later - I will use this space to log my progress as much as I can.

Shalom, Peace and Life to You!

Kwesi